A few years later came the espionage spoof S*P*Y*S starring Elliot Gould and Donald Sutherland, which bombed. Probably because of the stupid name. Why not just Spies? I haven't seen it, but I imagine it's a goofy acronym, like Secret Person Yankee Surveillance. Both of these movies star Elliot Gould, so maybe he is a secret asterisk supporter, or S*A*P.
W*A*L*T*E*R was a failed M*A*S*H spinoff in 1984, and we didn't see stars again until the '90s, when B*A*P*S came around- standing for Black American Princesses. Should've been B*A*Ps, but that just looks silly, doesn't it? I've never seen it, despite it starring Martin Landau. It got awful reviews, but much of its humor has been internalized in how white boys imitate black women. It's rather a shame that comedian Robert Townsend was involved, as his movies are usually pretty funny.
Yes, a question mark. Probably due to seeing the Get Smart movie THE NUDE BOMB (full review), my genius project was to have a global super-villain threaten the population by putting chemicals in the drinking water that made our farts lethal. Years before The Spleen from MYSTERY MEN, I'd come up with the concept of deadly flatulence. Our hero finds the antidote, which saves you by making your farts safe and super-powerful, and he'd use it to propel himself on a little broken-down moped. This is before Howard Stern's "Fartman," mind you. And because I thought this was just so damn weird, I was gonna name it "?" IMDb tells me that no one else did this until 2005. The problem being, how do you pronounce the damn title? My solution was to use the wonky question sound that "The Electric Company" played whenever Spiderman was puzzled. Of course, now that I look back, I should have just called it SILENT BUT DEADLY. I'd be a millionaire, if I'd only followed through with that script.
© 2010 Tommy Salami