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Sly and Statham are the biggest roles, but Jet Li gets some good fights in, and gets to show some comic chops as he complains he should have a bigger share, because everything is harder for him because he's the short one. He has to take more steps when they run someplace. Randy Couture "used to wrestle in high school" and that explains his cauliflower ears, which he is very sensitive about. Terry Crews gets to have some fun with a Sledgehammer shotgun, but this is a long way from his hilarious role as President Camacho in Idiocracy.Pity, he can be really funny. Dolph Lundgren gets the thankless job of being the guy who's a little too psycho for a band of psychos, and Mickey Rourke has retired from mercenaryin' to be a tattoo artist. He gets to give the "I'll cry when I'm done killin'" speech.
The movie showcases the strengths of our favorite bad boys but peppers humor in between, a wise choice that has worked since classics of the genre like Commando. I was a little disappointed that the fictional country they invade isn't named Val Verde, but that should be saved for an Arnie movie, I suppose. Speaking of which, Arnie and Bruce Willis's cameos are hilarious. Sure, they only get five minutes, but Arnie lets himself be the butt of the jokes, with Sly poking fun at the weight he put on as Governor, and that he "wants to be President." He's a rival merc leader, and doesn't ham it up. Maybe after he's done governating, Sly will give him a big role in the sequel. I sure hope so.
|If he dies... he dies|
The bad guys are played by a psycho Eric Roberts and David Zayas, best known as Angel from "Dexter." The girl is Giselle Itié, a beauty from Mexican television, who will likely appear in Hollywood again. She has good chops, though Sly isn't the best at getting realistic performances out of women (see Julie Benz in Rambo, who we know can act like a champ). But that's not what we're looking for in an action funfest like The Expendables. It was great seeing so many of them together. I enjoyed the hell out of it, but I don't think it's as good as Rambo- which is damn hard to top. The best I can say about it is: IT DELIVERS. And I damn well hope they make a sequel, and keep it rated R. And I will agree with Milky, my movie buddy, that they better bring back that shotgun, too. It should get its name in the credits.
4 out of 5 exploding human heads
© 2010 Tommy Salami