Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Gay Marriage is a Republican Plot

Okay I don't really believe that, but why is it that courts rule on gay marriage right before elections? It happened in 2004, and it's happening again now. If I smoked the weed and got all conspiratorial, I'd think that the rulings were timed so a flood of gay marriage stories would rally the conservative voters who somehow think that Chuck & Larry having a marriage certificate weakens their own ceremonial bonds before the law or the Lord.

Personally, I couldn't give a shit less who gets married. I can't wait until Court TV gets GLBT Divorce Court going on, because those fights will be epic. Late-nighter Craig Ferguson says it's a right-wing plot to stop gay sex. Hyuk! Get it? Cuz when ya get married the sex dries up.

Maybe it makes me a monster, but part of me wishes they would extend their engagements another 5 months or so until Election Day is over. Forgo your basic human rights until November 8th so we don't get an 80 year old President who doesn't know who we're fighting in Iraq but wants us there 100 years, who may have caused a Naval disaster by wet-starting his plane in the flight line to show off, and who shook the hand of the guy who called his adopted Bangladeshi daughter "an illegitimate black child" to defeat him in a primary.

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